Parenting in the Digital Age: The Role of Classical Conditioning and Parent-Child Interaction

Once, I was at my friend’s home in the Doda district of Jammu and Kashmir to discuss Sarazi and other Chenabi languages that need preservation. While my friend went to get me a glass of water, I noticed his child, Sahil*, watching short videos on YouTube. I observed his focus, and suddenly, a short video with mildly adult content appeared. Sahil watched it. I quickly grabbed the phone, went to YouTube settings, and enabled Restricted Mode so that such content would not appear again. However, after some time, I found that another inappropriate video appeared. I wasn’t sure whether it was YouTube’s fault or its algorithm.

Sahil had been using the phone for one and a half hours. Thinking that this might affect his eyes, I asked him to stop using the phone. He became angry and stared at me. Later, I spoke to my friend and told him not to give so much screen time to his child. However, he replied, “Aaj Kal Ke Bachay Kahan Suntay Hain” (“Kids these days don’t listen”). I responded, “He’s only three years old right now. If you don’t control it from now, he’ll develop issues with his mind, eyes, and behavior.” My friend snatched the phone and shouted at Sahil, who began crying. But as soon as the phone was returned to him, he quickly stopped. I told my friend that this isn’t the right approach. Disciplining children through shouting or force is often ineffective and counterproductive. Parenting is something we don’t take seriously. In the race for careers and other goals, our society has neglected the basic aspects of life.

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Understanding Classical Conditioning

A few days later, I came across a topic on Classical Conditioning. I learned that it was first described by Ivan Pavlov, the Russian physiologist, famously demonstrated classical conditioning through experiments involving dogs. He showed that animals could be trained to associate a previously neutral stimulus—like a bell—with a natural one, such as food, eventually responding to the bell alone. While the use of the bell is often debated, a 2015 article by Jarius and Wildemann in the Journal of Neurology confirms that it was indeed part of Pavlov’s original methodology.

I began wondering whether this could be applied to humans, particularly children. In the meantime, I found a topic discussing the Little Albert experiment. One of the most well-known demonstrations of classical conditioning in humans was the controversial Little Albert experiment conducted in 1920 by psychologists John B. Watson and Rosalie Rayner, published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology. In the study, a 9-month-old infant was conditioned to fear a white rat by pairing it with a loud, frightening noise. This experiment showed that emotional responses like fear could be learned through association.

So, can classical conditioning be used with children?

As I’ve noticed, many children are becoming addicted to smartphones, and parents often end up blaming their children with the phrase “Aaj kal ke bachay kahan suntay hain.” This concern is supported by data. A 2022 systematic review and meta-analysis by McArthur, Volkova, Tomopoulos, and Madigan, published in JAMA Pediatrics, analyzed 63 studies involving over 89,000 children under age 5. It found that only 24.7% of children under 2 adhered to the no-screen-time guideline, while just 35.6% of those aged 2 to 5 met the 1-hour daily limit. While adherence among the youngest children has improved in recent years, no such trend was observed for older preschoolers. These numbers highlight a widespread deviation from recommended guidelines, making it imperative to explore behaviorally informed solutions. One such approach is classical conditioning, which I believe could help reduce this addiction.

Classical conditioning can be used with children—intentionally or unintentionally—as part of their learning and behavioral development. As mentioned above, it is a psychological concept where a child learns to associate a neutral stimulus with a meaningful one, eventually responding to the neutral stimulus similarly.

Classical conditioning can help reduce smartphone addiction in children by associating excessive phone use with mild negative consequences (such as extra chores) and pairing healthier alternatives—like outdoor play, reading, or creative tasks—with positive reinforcement such as praise or rewards. Over time, the child may start associating phone overuse with discomfort and other activities with enjoyment. Consistent routines, environmental cues, and repeated patterns help reinforce these associations. However, this method works best when combined with clear communication, time limits, and positive role modeling by parents.

The Importance of Parent-Child Interaction

There are many other strategies that contribute to better parenting, such as Parent-Child Interaction. As I mentioned earlier, in the pursuit of careers and other priorities, we have ignored the basics of life. I recall a saying—though not directly related to this topic, it still fits:
“When parents were illiterate, their children became doctors, engineers, and more. But now that parents are literate, their children have become social media ‘nachaniyas’ (dancers).”
This was said by a child during a speech at an anti-drug awareness program. The saying highlights how a lack of proper Parent-Child Interaction today results in negative behavioral patterns. Because we don’t give enough time to our children, we end up creating a distance between parents and children.

The Underrated Power of Parent-Child Interaction

Parent-Child Interaction is one of the best techniques for behavioral development in children. It’s commonly observed that when we behave calmly with children, they develop a calm temperament. If we behave rudely, they learn to be rude. And if we ignore them, their behavior is shaped by what they observe and interact with in their environment.

In many cases, careless parents hand smartphones to their children just to keep them busy so they can complete their tasks. But they don’t realize they’re making a big mistake. Over time, this leads to smartphone addiction. Later, these same parents blame the child, using the phrase mentioned earlier—”Aaj Kal Ke Bachay Kahan Suntay Hain.”

Parent-Child Interaction is not only important for behavioral development; it also plays a key role in emotional bonding, cognitive growth, building confidence, and language and communication skills.

Why It All Comes Down to Involvement

You may have noticed, either around you or on social media, little kids using obscene and vulgar language. Just for the sake of money, some parents allow this vulgarity, and our children gain free access to this content via YouTube Shorts or Instagram Reels. Without active Parent-Child Interaction, the child’s exposure to such content can severely damage their mental development from a young age. Unfortunately, we cannot control this content easily, because the algorithms of social media platforms treat such content as harmless or funny, especially when it goes viral due to high engagement. People share it for fun, not realizing they’re helping the algorithm promote harmful content for children and society at large.

In the example I shared at the beginning, where YouTube’s settings failed to block inappropriate content for Sahil, we can see why active and mindful parenting—especially Parent-Child Interaction—is essential. It’s a critical part of raising children in a way that helps them manage their emotions, choices, and exposure to harmful influences.

*Name changed to protect the privacy of the individual.

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